Paying it forward

My first child was born full term, incredibly small and was diagnosed with hip displacia at birth. I remember someone coming to my face in the O.R. and telling me my brand new baby's hips dislocated even before I really saw or held her and not having a clue what that meant.

Very quickly, my husband and I went on a crash-course in hip displacia and through the haze of sleep deprivation and new parenthood we learned what we could. At 8 days old, we took our little baby to the Orthopedic Clinic at the Alberta Children's Hospital (ACH) and she was put in this completely barbaric looking body harness to keep her hips in the position they needed to be in so they could finish growing properly. We were told by the nurse as she strapped our daughter into this, that this brace would never come off and we were left with an uncertainty of the future that we had a difficult time describing to anyone.

We adjusted to our new normal which included regular trips to the Orthopedic Clinic at ACH, and got to make lots of friends along the way. Two things frustrated me the most - first, when people would ask if my 3-month old was 3 weeks old, and then the "what's wrong with her?" question when I would respond her true age since it didn't correspond to her size. Second, once I was changing her diaper in the ladies room at the mall and a stranger came and discussed her experience with hip displacia when she saw Ellie's body harness.

After one particularly tiring visit to the Orthopedic Clinic with Ellie, we sat in the caffeteria area at the Children's and listened to the Choir sing Christmas Carols to all who were there and I cried. A stranger came up to me and asked how old my baby was. When I told her she was 3 months old (she was about 8.5 lbs at that point), the woman gushed over how beautiful she was and how she just knew that she was an older baby even though she was small. She told me that she'd had a small baby too and that Ellie would eventually catch up - I left with a lighter heart and thankful for the encouragement.

Ellie was pronounced healed at 6 months old, and I went away from the experience deciding that I would use our experience to be there for someone in the future. Fast forward six more months and the shocking phone call from my little sister that my niece who's the same age as my daughter had just been diagnosed with hip displacia too! What a ride that was, never EVER did I think that my first support role would be to my own sister!

As a result, our Orthopedic Doc (who just happened to be the same guy for both these little girls), put a screening plan into place for all of our subsequent children since it was now obvious that hip displacia was a genetic trait in the family.

So last week, Baby Will was 6 weeks old and sent for his hip ultrasound and tomorrow we back to the Orthopedic Clinic to hear the results. I have learned I am incapable to attend any clinic at the Children's Hospital without a level of anxiety and stress, but I am trying not to overly worry about tomorrow's appointment.

What I am trying to focus on is the opportunities Will and I will have to meet new people and who we will be able to encourage tomorrow. Last week both my kids had ultrasounds at the ACH Imagining Clinic, and thanks to the assistance of my parents (yay for retirement!) I was able to be in two places at once.

As my Mom and I came out of Will's appointment, we were met with Dad visiting with a family in the waiting area while Ellie played with a little girl who was built in miniature form just like Ellie. The mother told me how encouraged she was to see a miniature child that was several months older than her own, who was talking (well sort-of), walking, alert and interactive, and hitting developmental milestones. She quickly told me of the worry the doctors were putting her through because her daughter was small, but after seeing Ellie she said she wasn't going to worry any more.

I left feeling exhausted and blessed at the same time and it reminded me about the visit I had with the stranger when Ellie was three months old. I am so thankful that God puts people into our lives to encourage us and for us to encourage - the trick is to recognize the opportunities we have to encourage those around us, something I am going to be more attentive to, especially in the realm of the big scary Children's Hospital!